20 Jan
Someone stole my joy!
Someone stole my joy and it was those fucktards at the IRS Office. So I just posted about feeling ambitious and trying to make a few positive changes in my world and I had a post scheduled for today (I'll post tomorrow) about how part of our life's purpose is to be happy and lead full lives. Yeah....I'm sad all over again. Every time I try and get my mind right and just be ok for a bit something happens.
I got my W-2's today. I was shocked to see how much I made. I had a decent increase over last year and yet I still live paycheck to paycheck. I went to TaxAct, quickly entered my info to get an estimate on whether I'd owe or not, and yep- I owe AGAIN. It's not fair. I still gotta pay what I owe from last year. I work hard and yet I still end up owing. I need some damn rugrats to claim. On top of that, though on paper I make good money- by the time you calculate all the government takes that is still not enough, my garnishment and the cost of living in Cali, I am barely hanging on. When I sit and write it all out, I'm not making it. I play the bill juggle game every month and I get very few of my wants. No occasional hair appointments or pairs of shoes! I don't have expensive tastes, I just want a little treat every now and again. Now, don't get me wrong. I am blessed. I know and recognize that. I've been able to do things like Cirque Du Soleil cause my job paid for it, and I got a new bible and Wii game using gift cards. I work hard and I should be able to do a little more than what I am currently able to.
I am trying so HARD to stay upbeat. I have been feeling really good about what life holds in store for me and I don't want to lose that. I've been praying and talking to God all day. I don't know why it seems like every time I get inspired, I get the wind kicked out of me. If I'm not stressing over one thing, its another. I need to get some momentum going cause I am really struggling lately. I'm gonna have this pity party for a few more hours, pray and then start tomorrow with renewed fervor. Pray for me cause there is never a dull moment in CynCity!
First of all, thanks for reading me - I love it when lurkers comment.
One of the scriptures that I live by is when David said God’s word was hidden in his heart so that he won’t sin (Psalm 119:11). Not saying that you’re sinning by your complaint in this post, but some scriptures to hold onto when someone ‘tries’ to steal your joy:
Romans 8:28 - all things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to His purpose
Matthew 6:25-34 (paraphrased) God takes care of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air - He’s got so much more in store for you, so seek Him first and all else will be taken care of. Don’t worry about tomorrow - you got enough to be concerned with today.
Philippians 4 - this is my favorite chapter for encouragement. This is the chapter where Paul tells us not to worry but with prayer, make all our requests to God. When we do this, (and this is my prayer for you) the peace of God that surpasses all our understanding with guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Next he tells us (starting with vs
to focus on the good things. In vs 12 he tells us how he’s learned to be content in all circumstances leading up to vs 13 where he states that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him (us). At the end of this chapter Paul states in vs 19 that God shall supply all our needs according to his riches…
I know it’s hard to focus on the joy of the Lord when things come, but I hope the above scriptures give you encouragement.
Sorry for preaching in your comments - if I went overboard, let me know…
January 20th, 2010 at 10:51 amumm, the cool emoticon should be an eight, LOL
January 20th, 2010 at 10:51 amTazzee,
January 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pmThanks for the great comment. I needed the reminder.