CityofCyn

Cute as A Bunny Challenge
So I only lost 1.1 lbs last week and I'm trying not to be sad about it. I know my endurance is increasing and overall I feel better but I wanna see the scale dropping. As far as I can tell I might be up a pound or 2 this week and I am really not pleased about that. My official weigh in day is Sunday so we'll see how that goes. I know I haven't had breakfast every day this week and I haven't been quite as active but I've stuck pretty close to my diet.



Weekend
My weekend was a bit emotional but pretty chill. I attended a baby shower for my nephew-in-law against my better judgment after my sis reassured me that it was ok and that she really wanted me there. I battled rain, car issues and traffic to get there. She and my nephew were genuinely happy to see me and I was just as happy to see them. As I began to help decorate and setup my sis told me that my ex was on his way and he was not at all thrilled that I was there; some of the rest of the family wasn't either. I'm sure he was probably bringing his girl and I can understand his displeasure to an extent but a part of me thought it was silly. In any case, I neglected to stay and left before he arrived. I never got to see my nieces or mommy-in-law and I was quite sad about that. My sis almost cried when I told her I was leaving and she just kept saying "this isn't fair, it's not supposed to be like this." Lesson learned. My large dysfunctional family consists of plenty of current wives/girls/mother of children and the all of the ex's as well. I grew up and never once saw my mom fight with any of my dad's wives. Family is family to me. I'll just make time for my sis-in-law and her kids when the entire family isn't involved.

After the baby shower I went to my cousin's art show. Just about the entire family showed up which was really nice. I love being around my family. I spent plenty of time with my baby cousin Sloan curled up on my chest. We hung out at the cafe for about 3 hours or so and then I went for dinner and drinks with my uncle, cousin and brother. Watching the men in my family scope out women was quite hilarious and I had a great time. Despite all I had to do Saturday, Sunday was quiet and I felt kinda lonely.

Stuff...
As always my mind is working overtime. I have so much to think about and figure out and I don't know where to start. My mind is constantly going. I think I am sleeping. I know I fall asleep and I wake up off and on but I think I sleep but then I wake up so unrested. I fight with my alarm EVERY single morning. I'm sad off and on and of course I feel bad for being so hard on Superman. I replay over and over in my head all the great times, stress over the bad ones (esp. my part in them) and just generally think and care about his well being and what's going on his life. There are just so many things that are not ideal and I keep trying hard to fix them but nothing seems to be working. I'm trying hard to be patient and just let go but I'm not doing good job at it. I hate not being in control. I just wanna be happier far more often than I'm sad. I am blessed to be loved though and I hope to never lose sight of that again.

So after 1 week on the challenge I lost approx 2-4 lbs (the Wii says I lost 2.2 lbs but I don't remember what my starting weight was and my scale says 4). I am nevertheless thrilled with the result.

My goal for the week was to eat breakfast every day and I succeeded every day but Saturday.

I haven't picked a goal this week so I guess I'll just continue with breakfast daily.

My biggest stumbling block is eating. It is not over eating or even eating the wrong things it's not eating enough. I've never had a huge appetite and eating especially healthy is extremely hard for me. I'm working out and being selective with what goes into my mouth and I am not taking in nearly enough calories. I'm not sure how to fix it though. I pack a bag of snacks every day and take them home with me and I rarely stop and eat lunch. I try to make myself eat but I just get nauseous. Any ideas?

After feeling one earthquake every day at lunch this week and 4 on Friday, I was more than ready to go home and relax this weekend. My weekend was actual pretty decent. Friday, Superman came by to bring me a gift. I still get butterflies while waiting for him to arrive. While out shopping he bought me a GPS for my car which I love. I think it's so sweet that he thought of me and it made me feel pretty special. Gifts from dudes are not the norm for me so it still makes me kinda uncomfy. I look forward to avoiding traffic and not having to look at my phone or papers for directions but I'd still prefer him to any gift he could ever give me. As always, it was great to see him and just laugh and talk with him. Time with him is so precious to me and I cherish it like none other.

Saturday I did a lot of sleeping and then got ready to go to a Hockey game. I actually enjoyed it a lot. It was kinda brutal which kept it very interesting. I actually want to go back but this time sit closer to the glass so I can really see the dudes get slammed into the wall. I shared a Coke while I was there and had some nachos. They weren't half as good as they looked and with the cold air in the rink they got cold really quickly and so I ate a very little bit and tossed the rest. It just wasn't worth the calories to me. After the game we were off to my favorite place, Hooters. I wasn't very hungry and I was actually quite sleepy so I had 3 glasses of water and ordered the steamed shrimp. I LOVE Hooters and the wings looked so yummy but I honestly wasn't hungry and I didn't want to spoil any of the hard work I had done over the week. It was a proud moment for myself.

Sunday I was up and working out by 10am. I was displeased with my measurements but since I plan on changing them I'm not gonna stress it. I am down 2.2 lbs according to the Wii and almost 4 lbs according to the scale and I am thrilled. I am once again sore after a tough workout so I haven't accomplished too much today. I washed my hair, rolled it and cooked and ate a healthy dinner and I am back in bed surfing the net and watching TV.

Emotionally, my weekend wasn't too bad at all. I gave Superman a letter I wrote but now I wish I woulda just talked to him. On the flip side, I wouldn't have said half of what I wanted looking at him but with him reading my words he can't read my tone or the spirit in which the letter was written. It was written from the depths of my heart but the topic wasn't an easy one. I just think he is so amazing and I wish he'd see it too!! I tried to be honest, but I'm a punk and tough love just isn't my thing. Oh well, it's done and I can't take it back. Love sucks and I love him so much!!!

I think I am rested and ready for the week and whatever it brings!

So a sista needs all the motivation and encouragement she can get so I decided to join the CUTE AS A BUNNY EASTER WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE. If you'd like more info or to join click here.

• According to Weight Watchers (WW) healthy weight loss constitutes losing 1-2 pounds a week, so all participant should strive to lose 1 pound weekly...7 lbs. in 7weeks (7/7). If you lose your 7 before the end of the challenge...KEEP GOING!
• The challenge starts Monday, February 15, 2010 and ends Monday, April 5, 2010 (7 weeks).
• Every week, each participant must set a mini-goal. For example, my mini-goal next week...TRACK EVERYDAY! If you meet your mini-goal, report your accomplishment on your blog.

This entire idea works out well for what I have in mind!

My mini-goal for Week 1: Eat Breakfast every morning and workout 4 days this week.

My weekend was hell! I hurt in a way that I haven't hurt in a long time and I punked out and stayed in my bed. I honestly don't even know if I've ever felt like a pain like this but I am glad that every day it eases a bit. I thought I could be tough and unaffected but I couldn't. At times I was really mad and wanted to be done but I know that's not where my heart truly is. I hate that my heart is so broken and I can cry at a moment's notice. I want the relationship I had with Superman so bad I can taste it but it's apparently not in the cards and I need to accept it. My hope is waning and I feel really defeated and alone. For once I didn't fall for the asshole, I fell for the awesome man but I guess our timing is just off and that's a really hard pill to swallow. I've said it a million times but it just really sucks that we share a lot of love yet it's just not coming together at this moment in time. I just keep praying for acceptance of whatever is in God's plan for my personal life. I'm trying my best not to pray for what I want and just pray for strength. I get down on my knees and I want to pray that I can have my relationship back but I know that isn't the right thing to do. I pray for happiness, I pray for Superman to find what he is looking for and I pray for whatever God has in store for me. I'm leaning on God to get me through cause there is no way I can do this alone.

Sunday I got up and started organizing my closets and under my sink and then got out and ran a mile. I ran for longer periods of time then I did the first time and I'm very proud of myself. I paced myself a little slower than I did the first time and ran further and pushed myself when I was ready to give up. I talked to God the entire time. As I was running I just kept saying "Give me the strength to run and give me the strength to yield to your will." I'm hoping to channel some of my anger, sadness and loneliness into working out. A little bit later my brother came over and we did some strength training (and had an amazing talk). I did lunges, calf raises, planks, and squats. I even did 10 push ups before I maxed out and I did 8 more on my 2nd set. I set up my 6-week challenge on my EA Active for the Wii and I am excited about completing that. I am about 4 pounds away from first goal and I am super excited. My body hurts and I LOVE it. I feel great. My motivation is high and I just want to keep going. I wanna work on how I feel on the inside and I wanna work on how I look on the outside. My happiness needs to improve in all areas.

I have tomorrow off for President's day and I plan to get some meals together and prepare for the week ahead. I have a few minor goals of eating breakfast and taking my vitamins every day and limiting my soda drastically. I think I can make it! Wish me luck. Please continue to pray for me cause I have a long way to go emotionally.

I am on day 2.5 of The 14 Day Tribe Challenge over at CreoleInDC and so far I am surviving. I only did a 1/2 day on day 1 because I neglected to prepare but I got back on target by lunch time so I guess technically I did 2/3 of the day. 14 days is a long time to go without carbs and sugar but I think I can do it. I am taking it one day at a time. The hardest part for me is eating all my meals. I can go all day and put my first bite in my mouth at 2pm. Breakfast especially will be a challenge but I am committed to giving it my best shot. There are plenty of others doing the challenge as well so that makes it much easier and gives me meal ideas too! Wish Me Luck!!

The details of the challenge are:

1 - Monday - June 15, 2009 - WEIGH IN! (You may share this number with us or keep it to yourself.) 2 - Tuesday
3 - Wednesday
4 - Thursday
5 - Friday
6 - Saturday
7 - Sunday
8 - Monday
9 - Tuesday
10 - Wednesday
11 - Thursday
12 - Friday
13 - Saturday
14 - Sunday - June 29, 2009 - WEIGH IN!

In additional to doing SOME KIND OF MODERATE EXERCISE for 30 minutes at least 6 times during the challenge, can you eat 5 times a day? 3 meals and two snacks? Here is the catch.

No candy, no cake, no ice cream, no cookies, no chips, no sugar. LET ME REPEAT...NO SUGAR!

No bread, no pasta, no rice, no potatoes, no cereal, no soda. LET ME REPEAT...NO SODA!

NO FAST FOOD...NO SAUCES.

You may eat whatever else you you want as long as you put in on your plate using a measuring cup. ONE CUP. Oh...and for lunch and dinner? At least TWO veggies. As much as you want no sauce. :)

You HAVE to eat breakfast.

You HAVE to have a snack.

You HAVE to have lunch.

You HAVE to have another snack.

You HAVE to have dinner.

You MAY have dessert. No sugar. Think the likes of sugar free jello.


AGAIN...
No candy, no cake, no ice cream, no cookies, no chips, no sugar. LET ME REPEAT...NO SUGAR!

No bread, no pasta, no rice, no potatoes, no cereal, no soda. LET ME REPEAT...NO SODA!

NO FAST FOOD...NO SAUCES.

Can you do it? Are you in?

Please remember that cocktails are FULL.OF.SUGAR so no cocktails! You shouldn't drink any alcohol but hey...you grown. Do you.


Monday: Lunch: Cabbage and Meatloaf (thanks honey) Dinner: Grilled Chicken Breast and Steamed Veggies Messup: Shared a glass of lemonade with Superman Tuesday: B: Scrambled Eggs and Bacon, Simply Apple Juice S: Handful of Almonds and Peanuts L: Spinach and Romaine Salad with Salmon, Balsamic Salad Spritzer S: Strawberries and Mangos S: Raw brocolli, cauliflower, mushrooms, and olives D: Baked Chicken Breast, Spinach and Romaine Salad with Balsamic Salad Spritzer S: Apples and Celery with Peanut Butter Wednesday: B: Apples, Oranges and Simply Orange Juice S: Celery and Peanut Butter L: Vegetable Soup, Raw Veggies and Cherries and Strawberries S: Almonds and Peanuts D: Grilled Shrimp, Spinach, and Corn

As always I had a great relaxing weekend with my Superman. I'm just comfy and at ease when we are together. We watched TV, played video games, went to a BBQ, watched the Laker games and just relaxed. He was very good about cooking me healthy stuff so I wouldn't wreck my diet. I'm just at peace when I am around that and I miss that when I am in the midst of chaos during the week.

I now remember why I don't do more design or business work for people. I hate what I have created immediately after I am through designing and I hate working with people who want to pick at every little teeny detail. Sure, I am ultimately designing for them but 1/18th of a space versus 1/19th is certainly not a big deal and certainly not when I'm designing pro bono. I'm also not good at designing things I don't like. If I don't like what you want me to design than I have a hard time working at it and putting it together. I guess maybe I should stick to not designing for people.....

My diet has been good so far. I don't know what is different this time around but it seems to be easier. I don't seem to be hungry or feeling deprived and I actually like the food I am eating and am actually starting to crave it. It just seems like something has clicked. There are days I want a treat and every now and again I indulge but I don't want to junk food as much. I want to be healthy. I'm not even focusing so much on weight at the moment just on changing my eating habits to start with. In just one week I am feeling better physically. I am gonna try my best to stick with it.

I had a job interview last week. It went well but I wasn't interested in the job. I prayed hard about switching jobs to a job dependent on funding from the state in this economy. Plus, I just didn't like the job. It seemed way more secretarial than what I do now and I am trying to get away from that. I woulda been closer to Superman and we could do lunch on occasion, and I still wasn't interested in the position. I think it was a good reminder that though things may bot be perfect, I do have a job and one that I enjoy tremendously. I will keep my eye and continue to see what opportunities are out there.

I am still looking for a second job and the idea of my own home is that one is very appealing to me again. I may need to get a roommate again but I am so in love with the idea of my own place with all of my belongings and no one but me there unless I choose otherwise. Sigh. This is where patience needs to kick in. I know God has a plan and all things will work out...

I had a great weekend. I got lots of rest and cleaned up my bedroom and bathroom. Saturday, Nina and I met for lunch at Souplantation. Then we were off to Sam's Club to meet Marcie for a shopping trip. We walked, talked, and checked Weight Watchers points of all the stuff we picked up and decided to do a Weight Watchers email group so we can keep each other motivated. Later that evening, Nina and I hit her gym and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. Today, I slept, cooked all my meals for the week and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. All in all my eating habits were so much better this week and I logged 4 workouts this week. Go Me!!

I read some great advice from MonicaMingo on cooking for the week and I listened. I cooked all my meals for the week (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and have it all ready to go so I can grab and microwave as necessary. I also calculated all the weight watchers points for everything so I can put together meals with very little fuss.

I am quite proud of the progress I've made and I plan to stick with it. I have measurements on Thursday and I am looking forward to celebrating some more progress.

I cooked a little bit of everything. A pasta skillet meal, boiled some crab legs, baked some chicken breasts, boiled some eggs for breakfast, sauteed some chicken breasts and nuked some veggies in their steamer bag and some Uncle Ben's ready brown rice. I already have some frozen lean cuisines, instant oatmeal and a box of Special K at work.



Boiling eggs....


Pasta, veggies and chicken....


Chicken Breasts....


Finished Meals....


Fruit....


All Ready for the week....








There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't have an amazing week as far as my eating goes. I have no excuses now and and I am looking forward to seeing how everything turns out.....

In just one week of working out and being more conscious of what goes into my mouth I have lost 2.5 lbs and I am ecstatic. It gives me the boost I need to stay motivated and keep going!!



I also got the rest of my measurements taken and set some achievable goals for this first 5 week workout cycle. I am looking forward to not only looking better but feeling better.

Goals thru October 31, 2008.
1. Breakfast every day.
2. Vitamins every day
3. 3 cardio workouts per week
4. Crunches, squats, pushups, lunges, and calf raises daily
5. Regulate blood sugar

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Breakfast:
Apple/Cinnamon Oatmeal
2 Sausages
Water
Vitamin

Lunch:
Salad (mushrooms, olives, tomato, green onions, cucumber,beets, romaine lettuce, spinach leaves, eggs and almond slivers.
Italian dressing and a lil itty bit of ranch

Dinner:
8 grilled shrimp
ground turkey, a little bit of cheese, diced black olives and avocado (left over taco stuff)
Spinach

Snacks 9am: Trail mix
10:30 am: Applesauce
2:00 pm: 1 halloween size pack of m&m's
4:00 pm: Crystal light
8:30 pm: Mango cubes and strawberries
Exercise
Walking: 0
Cardio: 25 minutes
Squats: 3 sets of 10
Lunges: 3 sets of 10
Calf Raises: 3 sets of 10
Push Ups: 20
Crunches: 200

It is only day 2 but I am very proud that I have stuck to my goals so far.